Wherein Falcon punches out Cthulu

[raced_god]

Well. That was fun.

I'm back, in case anyone needs me. Or something.

[Perhaps your character was the type to catch some of the F-Zero Grand Prix on TV this week. If they did, they may have seen the strange events of the last race on Friday, where Falcon's victory was interrupted by a brain in a jar, traveling by giant purple death bubble. And then some other stuff happened and everything was broadcast on intergalactic television and Sega ruined F-Zero forever.

Also, Racing God is a total troll.]
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I have this. Thing. That we should maybe take a look at. When you have a chance.
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If you, um...wanted to talk about anything...
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[HONEY I'M HOME.

Falcon more or less bursts in the door. He looks a little shellshocked, like something either EXTREMELY HORRIBLE or EXTREMELY WEIRD or perhaps BOTH has just happened.

He has a belt.]

Comments

Re: [Private]

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

NO BUT I CAN SEE WHY THEY WOULD...

If it's the kind of thing nobody else should really see, maybe I should go over there. [LOL BRB HEADING TO FALCON'S OLD APARTMENT]

Re: [Private]

[raced_god]

Okay. That's probably a good idea.

[Falcon sits at the computer for a good five minutes before realizing that Jeff is probably going to his apartment that he's not quite moved out of yet.

SO OFF HE GOES, probably arriving at the door with the belt at the same time Jeff does.]

Re: [Private]

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

[And so Jeff was destined to never find out about the firehouse. Although he is a little like "dude why are you coming from the other direction instead of from the inside idgi????"]

Oh... Hi!

[raced_god]

Hey. Let me just get this open.

[He is pulling out his keys, revealing that inside, everything is slowly being put into many boxes.]

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

[Oh no this is just like sad memories of Samus moving out without a trace. Wait a minute...]

...Packing?

[raced_god]

Yep.

[Falcon clears some boxes off the table in order to very gingerly set the belt on it.]

I'm not leaving, don't worry.

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

Oh, good. Because I'd be one of the people coming after you all the time if you did. [HE'S KIDDING. OR IS HE? WHATEVER, LET'S LOOK AT THE BELT.]

....Can I touch it?

[raced_god]

Um. [Falcon is about to stop him, but he figures that would be counterproductive.]

Sure. I was hoping you could help me try and take it apart and maybe see if there's anything in it.

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

I should have brought my tools. But I guess you have some.

[HE'S REACHING FOR THE BELT. HE'S TOUCHING THE BELT. HE'S PICKING UP THE BELT.]

[raced_god]

[JUST BE REALLY CAREFUL WITH THAT BELT GOD MIGHT COME OUT AGAIN.

Luckily the tools are right over here. He puts those on the table, too.

Too bad there does not appear to be a single screw or bolt on this belt.]

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

[Jeff is scrutinizing this thing!]

...

So... Do we rip it open or hit it with a hammer or what?

[raced_god]

[Oh no what if racing god smites him down for messing with this belt oh no]

We could try. See if we can't split it at the seam.

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

[And so Jeff takes one of those ridiculously tiny screwdriver things to try pulling apart the seams with. This can't possibly go wrong.]

[raced_god]

[Falcon takes a really big screwdriver and tries to wedge it real good in there.]

This is tougher than I thought.

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

...How about scissors?

[raced_god]

[He looks at the scissors. Then the belt. Then back again.]

Worth a shot.

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

[...What, Falcon, are you going to make Jeff do all of this. OKAY, FINE, HE'LL CUT THE BELT UP FOR YOU. Or try.]

[raced_god]

[Falcon is still trying to wedge that screwdriver in there.

He gets a HAMMER and proceeds to pound at it.

Nothing happens.]

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

[NnnnngggRAAAH.] What is this even made of?! DIAMONDS?

[raced_god]

I have no idea. I was hoping there would be a scientific explanation for this thing.

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

I've been searching for scientific explanations for half the things at the school.

[Sighs and sets the scissors down, looking over the belt again.] ...But... An explanation for what, exactly?

[raced_god]

Well.

It talked.

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

The belt talked.

[...Yeah, he'll believe it.]

[raced_god]

Yes.

They told me they were the creators of the universe, and that they wanted my soul because I beat up brain guy, who was apparently their best creation. Apparently I was a prime candidate to replace him.

[blondprodigy.livejournal.com]

They? The belt is more than one ... thing?!